I think I am morally bankrupt
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
