Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
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I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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