Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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