You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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