I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
