This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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