Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
