You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
