i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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