you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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