Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
