So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
