he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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