She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
