i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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