PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I pour the whiskey from now on
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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