South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
