shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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