the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
