my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have aggressive nipples.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
