My pussy is not your playground.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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