Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
