I am spending my child support on dildos
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
