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I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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