I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
