Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize