when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
did i just pee glitter
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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