So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
