Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
