It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
