I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my shit smells like andre
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Randomize
