i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
