4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Welp...herpes.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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