Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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