I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
