We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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