it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
