your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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