You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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