Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
