my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How's work?
Spinning.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize