I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
