I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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