someone get that fucking seahorse.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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