these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
