Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize