But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
