counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
