it hurts more in the daytime
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
