He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
handjob tips. give me some.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
