Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
