I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize