Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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