stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
