Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
