didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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